I Denied My Loved Ones, HOW CRAZY IS THAT?!

the worst feeling i ever had
(photo not mine)

I feel ridiculous, really. I know you are raising your brows on me. Yes, I did deny my loved ones, my dear husband and son particularly. WHY? HOW DARE I? I still question myself up until writing this post since the day before yesterday. Though never will be acquitted but anyhow, please allow me to explain myself.

Now then, I am into this urgent matter, definitely legal, that needs my valid I.D., Community Tax Certificate (cedula) and Birth Certificate. It’s my bad I didn’t work on validating my marital status on my Identification Card right after the wedding. Okay, so obviously still on it is my mother’s last name and my status, single. I had no choice but to use it due to urgency. I need a recent Community Tax Certificate so I did go to the city hall and filled up the needed info, yes I made sure that it would agree with my I.D... It was all okay until the office clerk started an unexpected interview (I’ve been into this a lot of times but only then that I am trapped with this silly conversation, yes really silly!).

Clerk: Are you living-in with someone?

Me: (mind puzzled with such a ridiculous question and just raised my brows with a clueless face)

Clerk: (on a loud irritated voice) Do you have a live-in partner?

Me: NO! (that was technically correct right? because I am legally wedded so  I thought I am not saying the wrong thing)

Clerk: Do you have a child?

Me: (confused and hesitant telling myself, “I declared I’m single and without a partner so it would be wrong to say I have a  child so I just responded with hesitant act of refusal)

Immediately after my response, it felt like the heavens and the earth crashed on me. I never felt this worst feeling before. I was so upset that when the clerk handed me the certificate I just stood still and kept staring at it and badly wanting to wind back the time and just declare my real status whatever it takes. I was so upset that tears were heaping and racing out my eyes, and my heart pounding and bursting with indescribable pain.

Too late! Even if I would immediately act on changing it, I still did deny them. I denied the most important part of why my heart beats. How crazy is that? I went home nagging at myself, “You love them? How could you deny them? And for what?”  Then, I apologetically told my husband about it and asked, “What do you think of what I did? Am I foolish?” He gently replied, “I just feel rejected.”

Ouch! I couldn’t be more upset! My husband’s response was just another proof of my foolishness!

I surely will work on my papers without more ado and make things right once and for all.

What to do when having an 'LQ'?

Lovers’ Quarrel it is! And yes, in our 2 years, 5 months and 2 weeks of marriage, we have had many. We have our own share of untold down-in-the-dumps. Whatever the grounds are, a quarrel is still a quarrel that badly needs squaring off before long, before any rueful actions done. All right, I am no expert here, and still an amateur on marriage or any relationship. I just want to spills the beans and let you in a little on the facts of how I act and react when in a tiff with the man I pledged, before God and men, to be with all my life through ups and downs.

Okay, here are two different sets of actions/reactions and outcomes to a same situation – ‘LQ’

BEFORE:

-          I intentionally bring the house down with me when I’m upset! I.e. no cleaning, no laundering, no dish washing, just letting everything cluttered and shambolic!

-          I go on hunger strike, really!

-          I slack and slumber all day long or go elsewhere and come home late!

-          I drag up his past flaws and faults, and plan on doing silly things!

§  OUTCOME: I end up more upset and madder. Hungry. Sleepless at night and filled with negative thoughts and get up the next morning even madder. And when it’s time to kiss and make up, I end up exhausted with all the household errands that are now twofold, argh!

AT THE PRESENT (When I got tired of all after-LQ frustrations and also baby came.):

-          I do general cleaning, as in! Of course I can’t risk my baby’s health. Sparkling clean from corner to corner tsk… tsk… just exaggerating a little!

-          I eat, do, go, and buy whatever I want. No more hunger strikes and no more coming home late!

-          I try with all my best not to think on any negative past and avoid doing silly things.

-          I prepare and join him during meal time.

§  OUTCOME: Okay, I still get upset and do or think of silly things but not that bad anymore. I get a good night sleep, obviously because I’m too tired after running all errands. Not hungry, plus the glee of satisfying myself with a bit of luxury. I get up the next morning lighter and brighter and a lot more welcome for a kiss and make up, teehee!

Aye, we still are caught in a tiff every once in a while, but now we don’t bring the house down anymore, no more hurtful words, and we always still try to eat together on the same plate, yes right, on a single plate like we always do after we tied the knot. We both hate verbal fights, thank God, which really made a great deal of difference. And we certainly both love to keep each other until the end of time so we are working hard to save ourselves from any marriage disasters. We pray and we live our oath!

Now I Know!

From the moment I, with Surgeons’ help, brought our darling baby out to this world to each passing day there was never an instance that my little darling stays a long way away. I always ‘baby wear’ the world over until that one particular day, my granddad’s 70^th birthday (August 25, 2013) which calls for a clan reunion. That day happened to be the same day with another very important engagement so the husband and I decided to join the get-together later. The presence of the nearest-and-dearests was a must so they insisted to take along my little one with them to make sure that we’re coming over. Actually we agreed, but from the time I heard that idea, though I already gave approval, I was ill at ease. Then the big day came, they were all excited to bring, even argued who would carry and cuddle, my darling baby whose only one year, 6 months and 21 days young then, I was still uneasy deep within. It’s not that I don’t trust any of them to take good care of him; perhaps it’s just that exact sentiment I frequently hear from co-mamas when they’re away with their children, now I know!

On the other hand, I couldn't deny the glee of freedom and convenience, actually. Anyhow, the situation made me remember how it felt to be able to use both hands again in doing a task, freely moving here and there. Oh yeah, carefree, clutter free guise and handbag and sweaty no more. I must say I relished every moment, why not, for only at the moment. And yes, the hubby did say, “I miss this ‘only you and me’ time.” – silly but true =) tsk… tsk… Then later a friend commented, “You look like newlywed.”  =D Oh, really?!! Are we too showy that we’re enjoying our uninterrupted moments together?  Hahahahahaha!

Uh huh! We did enjoy our carefree moments but actually our little darling was always our gab topic. And as soon as we were over and done with our prime engagement, we hurriedly hit the road to grandpa’s county to reunite with our longed-for kinfolks, celebrate grandpa’s well and advanced years and of course be with our darling baby. It was a tiring long trip. I don't know exactly how my little Joseph felt while we were apart, all I know is that he's very happy to be with us again, so do I. Seeing our little one’s sweetest smile and chuckle, and clapping his teensy-weensy hands the moment he saw us and call out to the top of his voice, “MAMA!” awww everything just gleamed like a sunbeam and all the longing and grogginess eluded. Now I know! =)

Desperate Cooking: Revealing A Teensy Weensy Secret!

Today is another smiley day, indeed one of our best bright-and-breezy days. Actually it’s just a typical ordinary day made special by these cheesy yet oh so heartening words from my man, “I love you more than yesterday!” He’s not someone innately romantic, just plain and simple and a man who’s never flashy especially with words of endearment. That explains why I rate highly and take pleasure in each and every word and or deed of gratitude displayed.

Okay! Okay! No more ado’s. It all started with a little flattering remark to a yummy dish we both love yet always leaves a lingering stinky smell at the kitchen, spicy ‘pusit’. The remark was not for the yummy cooking, yes it was yummy he said, really =P but for the absence of the stinky smell. Now, no need to freshen up the kitchen over and over again when cooking such.

The secret? A squeeze or two of Calamansi drives that fishy smell away. Actually the discovery was just a happenstance. It was not really part of the ingredients, only something I tried to neutralize my saline dish tsk… tsk… what a bolt from the blue that it did not only enhanced the flavor but also eliminate that stinky fishy smell for good. Awesome!

The JOY of Being a FATHER

The joy of being a Father?

A natural-born female, a daughter deprived of a father, now a mother, I find it difficult to grasp a father’s emotional state. I have always been into my own sentiments in life - womanhood, motherhood and all that girl stuffs.

I even have this thinking that no one would ever love my child like I do, besides the Almighty. However, seeing my husband’s endless smiles, lasting patience, affectionate care and all his hard work accentuate his love for our little one. I must say fatherhood made him more committed as a family man, and yes this tough-and-not-at-all-romantic dude became gentle, more affectionate, more sympathetic and more responsible.

To be honest, I negatively bated breath on him regarding marriage and fatherhood. Well, he’s absolutely not a bad catch to begin with; it’s just the fact that we all have individual negativity that we can never deny of. I love him and thank God for him. I sure know he is heaven sent and its God’s good will that brought us accord. And each day of our lives together, good or bad, is God’s wonderful workmanship to create a masterpiece.

I have come to realize that this dad truly loves his son never less than his child’s mama. I know I’ll never be able to figure out the joy of being a father but I am ever so grateful to this man who undoubtedly loves his kid with all the best that he can and by also loving and caring for his kid’s mama. Awwww (joyful tears)! 

Desperate Cooking: PAKBET

Pakbet has been my eversince favorite but my significant other finds it really hard to enjoy. Obviously he’s a lover of meat and some carefully chosen seafood. He’s always a snub when it comes to vegetables, so I tried a trick he wouldn't refuse. At this point, preparing this dish is not anymore infuriating but fulfilling! Aye! I triumphed in making him eat veggies! But only pakbet for now, at least. Thank God my little one is not that hard to feed veggies like his dad. =P

 Here’s MY CHOICE OF INGREDIENTS:

·         300 grams Pumpkin

·         100 grams Eggplant

·         50 grams String Beans

·         50 grams Okra

·         500 grams Alugbati

·         500 grams Pork

·         Onion and Garlic

·         Salt and one small pack of that seasoning with magic =P

·         Cooking oil

·         Soy Sauce

MY WAY OF DOING IT:

1.      Wash all the ingredients that need to be washed such as: Pumpkin, Eggplant, String Beans, Okra, Alubati and Pork. Then slice them and also the spices.

2.      Saute onion and garlic, then the pork till brown. Add soy sauce to desired amount immediately after putting the pork.

3.      Add all the veggies. Put salt and that seasoning with a magic. Simmer till veggies are well done. (I actually prefer it overly done, like it’s almost mashed.)

4.      Then add the alugbati. Simmer till alugbati is well-cooked. (If not using a non-stick pan, check and stir from time to time to avoid charred veggies.)

5.      Plate and serve. =)

Oh! The trick? Please notice my ingredients, I put more of those that my hubby and baby likes such as pumpkin, alugbati and of course pork. Also, I do it away with ampalaya.

This desperately-cooking-wife-and-mama is taking it all slowly, one day at a time.

Desperate Cooking: MULTIPLE HITS, ONE AFTER THE OTHER!

now happy at the kitchen hihihihihi (photo not mine)

*Chicken Tinola              *Pork Stew             *Pakbet 

*Adobong Manok at Baboy     *Eskabetseng Buwad 

*Humba            *Gambas                 *Spicy Pusit                     

*Sinigang na Bangus         *Crispy Chicken and Pork                

Oh Yes!!! Multiple hits, one after the other, which made me realize that fairly enough I’m not the worst cook in town! Woohoo!!! I’m not that bad at all. Perhaps I just needed a push which happened to be marriage and motherhood. I gave some more effort, motivated by love, and I did great! Well maybe, great only for me and my hubby. I still don’t pass my mother’s cooking standards and the world’s too for sure. But for now, my only critic is my man. Good thing he has an easy-to-please tummy! =D Actually, now I notice that he's eating more happily and more satisfactorily. Wow! It's such an achievement!

And to all the single ladies out there whose plans include marriage, good cooking is indeed important. This desperate-cooking-wife-and-mama should know.

Why Give Extra Effort To Family Together Time?

It’s given and understood that each household member has his own time-consuming must-do’s. And unquestionably, all are for the family’s welfare sake. But then, at the end of the day, beyond all material fulfillment, we want nothing more but our loved ones, solely.

Giving quality time to our loved ones must never be out of our must-do’s list. The after-effects? GREAT!

·         Happier Disposition

·         Hang-ups-and-Trust-Issues Free

·         Love Assurance

·         Tighter Bond

·         Content Spouse

·         Jovial child

·         Satisfied and Fulfilled Living

I've never been this fulfilled as a wife and mother. I know we still have a long way to go, ups and downs to tackle, but we are making through it through God’s grace and giving each other the time essential. Nobody wants a sad beloved. It pays to give time solely for your loved ones on a daily basis. Whether quick or lengthy, what matters is you enjoy each and every moment you have with each other. Actually, I usually am the assistant, the cheerleader, the photographer, the helper, and all that. So what? Being always on their aide is my greatest joy. I know they love me back and that assurance is my greatest reward. And we are all together making this family nurtured and flourishing. Cheers to Family Love!

Quality Moments

Now I know better what “Quality Time” means.  All along I thought it ONLY means designating a specific day or a few more to escape your busy schedule and spend the whole time only with your loved ones such as beach time, weekend get-away, out of town, and the like. Sure those are great family together time, but definitely need to be well-planned and budgeted. And in our case, amidst our demanding schedules, we only chance to do it occasionally, meaning only once or twice a year.

I often pull a face when the hubby just rushes things off to work. I consider lesser time as lesser love. Time has always been this time-demanding wife’s issue to her almost-always-on-the-go hubby until few days ago. We (me, the hubby, and our little guy) woke up earlier than usual. Personal devotions done, and yet still too early to drudge or even go for breakfast. The hubby then suggested us to go for a walk. We went outside at about 6 in the morning. Our dear little one excitedly went and was so happy. Honestly I was at first hesitant wanting to grab some more sleep but just consented anyway. I didn't expect the spur of the moment to really change my disposition, actually my total outlook about giving quality time to loved ones. It was just more or less 30 minutes together time and we had it great, really! We immensely enjoyed every moment plus we had the chance to view the dazzling sunrise which I have not seen for a very long time and the scenery with the sun peeping through the trees feasts our sight. Truly magnificent!

We went home with a glimmering atmosphere, impassioned and in higher spirits! Indeed it’s the best short-period family together time we ever had but definitely not the last. We are making it a daily-before-breakfast ritual and we’re on our second week. We just play hide and seek or basketball, ride a bike, watch the sunrise, sit and laugh together under a tree, or just schmoozing, just anything under the sun. During a rainy morning? Well, playing under the rain together is such a merriment; or we simply just enjoy snuggles and cuddles, or sing praises together. Each enthusing day inspires us and definitely draws us closer, chummier, dearer and tighter. And all this wife’s hang-ups vanished. Each quality moment counts and a little time is never a lesser love!

Desperate Cooking: "EGGPLANT OMELETTE"

“Prepare me an eggplant dish that I could not refuse.” – a veggie challenge from my all-meat-lover hubby. “Of course!” – I then excitingly accepted the challenge, though a bit nervous. Hihihihi =P

So happy that he’s starting to reconsider veggies. That would be an advantage in teaching my sweetie baby to eat veggies too.

Okay, the hubby doesn’t like sautéed eggplant so an omelette was the next immediate option because I don’t really know other eggplant recipes hihihihih poor me! Mr. Google, here I come!

I then inquired Mr. Google after the hubby’s gone for work. Yes, yes! Eggplant omelette is simple but I just wanna make sure. Hihihihihi =P

EGGPLANT OMELETTE  ( from wikihow.com)

      INGREDIENTS:

• 2 Asian eggplants
• 2 eggs (preferably jumbo or large, grade A)
• Salt
• Pepper

STEPS:

1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Bake the Asian eggplants, whole, on a baking sheet for 30-35 minutes or until the eggplants are soft. If the eggplants are still too firm and resistant, bake for another 5-10 minutes. The eggplants will need to be soft enough to mash later.
3. Remove the eggplants from the oven and allow them to cool until they are no longer too hot to touch.
4. Peel off the eggplants' skins, but make sure the stem stays attached. One simple method is to use a knife to shallowly cut the skin around the top and peel it off in long strips with a fork and your fingers. The skin should come off easily. Be careful not to burn yourself if the eggplants are still hot.
5. Mash the eggplants flat with a fork. If the flesh is still resistant and rubbery, then the eggplants were not baked long enough.
6. Dash the eggplants with salt and pepper on both sides.
7. Beat two eggs.
8. Dip the eggplants in the beaten egg mixture. Use the stem as a handle to dip the eggplants. Make sure that the vegetables are liberally coated with egg.
9. Fry the vegetables in a pan with vegetable oil, pouring the remaining portion of the egg mixture over the eggplants.
10. Serve hot and enjoy!

thanks to 'WikiHow'

It should come out like this, but mine was a bit horrible. Hahahahaha! 

A little disaster for a starter. It looks awful but tastes fine, really. Hmmmm definitely gonna give more try's! A good taste and a better presentation should be something he couldn't refuse, right?

mine really needs a lot of improvement hihihi

Hmmm... do you know some techniques and/or unique veggie recipes? Please extend a bit of kindness to this desperately-cooking-wife-and-mama. Ahehee! =P

Desperately Cooking!!!

I never thought I would strive this much for cooking. Though I love eating but cooking is never a thing for me. Thank God for giving me a man who’s palate is not that hard to please. My bad cooking was never a big issue in our two-years –and-4-months-and-definitely-counting marriage. Aye, he sometimes complains for unpleasant taste but we usually just laugh about it and just quickly go for another. He never treated me less of a wife for being the worse cook in town. Oh how grateful I am to the Almighty!

But today, as an act of gratitude to my ever-so-understanding man, I am officially starting to make extra special efforts to make my bad cooking into a good, hmmmm no, a yummy one! Plus, a one-year-old in the house adds to my inspiration. I definitely want my man and my son to come home to mama’s yummy cooking!

what's cooking? (photo not mine)

I bet my search buddy Mr. Google would do a lot of help. Do you have any suggestions for this desperately-cooking-wife-and-mama?  It would definitely be highly appreciated! =D 

NATURE Never Fails To Amaze + Proves The CREATOR's Existence

We took a family walk at about 6 in the morning. Instead of taking some ‘selfies’, we hurriedly took the chance of capturing the magnificence that feasts on our eyes. We definitely seize the spur of the moment. Nature never fails to amaze and stand out even with an old-fashion phone camera.

What a palpable evidence that a magnificent Creator undeniably exists. With all nature’s wonders, who can attest that there is no God?

Lesson Learned From My One-Year-Old

As a first-time mom, I need to learn countless things to hit-the-hook of motherhood. I get often edgy on what’s the right, the best, the most, the finest, and all that. Plus, I am over-stressed with some people on all sides coaching me to do this and that; I do appreciate them all, really. And one of the advises in particular is teaching him things appropriate for his age. Who doesn't want his own child to excel? So I give extra effort and sometimes overly which apparently stresses my poor one-year-old and me actually.

As I strive teaching him things like counting, identifying and naming things and individuals, so on and so forth, I usually end up with frustrations. Is my child a slow learner? However, he surprises me with his actions and reactions, doing things I did not teach him. Such as:

-          bowing down with hands clasped;

-          babbling while strumming his little guitar;

-          laughs oddly when hearing others laugh;

-          holding his hands together every time he sees me preparing meals on the table;

-          trying to plug-in an appliance;

-          hugging from the back;

-          putting the toothbrush in his mouth when he chances to grab one;

-          wiping his face with a tissue;

-          rubbing the floor or the table with a garment;

-          wrinkles his face and/or yells when wants are not granted;

-          and more that burst my heart with gladness, amazement, tears and sometimes even fear…

I notice how he quickly imitates things that I and the people around him are doing which prompted me and I ought to be teaching him by example, a good one must I be!

Efficient Ways to a Stress-Free Laundry

Happy with your laundry? (photo not mine)

Here are common yet efficient ways to a guaranteed good cleaning and care of your clothes. Things I finally learned after several laundry disasters.

·         Proper SORTING

-          Best done prior to washing.

-          Separate colored from white ones to prevent color transfer.

-          Sort colored ones from one shade to another especially those that give off colors. For instance: only-shades-of-blue-colored clothes in one load and so on. Spares you that aggravating risk of color integration.

-          Launder super grimy ones separately to avoid dirt transfer, causing other clothes dullness.

·         Proper PREPARATION

-          Check and clear out pockets.

-          Zip zippers well to prevent other more delicate garments from unwanted damages.

-          Invert entwines / knits / interweaves inside out to avoid pulling and tangling with rubbing surfaces.

-          Undo buttons to avoid ripping and/or detaching during the laundering process.

-          Safety delicate garments with embroidery, laces, beads, sequins, buttons and the like inside a laundry bag and tie securely.

·         Proper LOADING

-          Do not overload to avoid possible results of detergent spots, poor cleaning, and fast wear out.

-          Dry laundry must not go beyond the inner-tub level.

-          Reduce load of super grimy garments for better cleaning.

In the medical world they say, “Prevention is better than cure!” Nothing to do with the laundry? Well, somehow applicable. You don’t need to spend a lot of energy to spare yourself from a disastrous laundry and costly alternatives. Have a happy laundry day!

NATURAL COUGH RELIEVERS

Cough, as common as it is, never makes this first time mom relaxed. I also don't want my little one or any one in the family get used to antibiotics, so besides prescribed and/or over-the-counter cough medications, I embrace reasonable home remedies and save some bucks.

thyme tea (photo not mine)

©      Brew some ‘thyme’ and stop hooting! Dried or fresh, calms bronchial spasm and loosens phlegm.

black pepper seeds (photo not mine)

©      Gnaw it away with ‘Black Pepper Seeds’! Two to five seeds will do. Add dried grapes or sugar candy for pleasanter chewing.

almonds & wallnuts (photo not mine)

©      Give a grind to ‘Almonds and Walnuts’! Naturally warming and sweet-flavored. Reduces aching and inflammation. Roast some and kick off coughing.

calamansi (photo not mine)

©      Juice up ‘Calamondin aka Calamansi’! Bursting with antibiotic and antiviral components. An expectorant for respiratory troubles.

eucalyptus (photo not mine)

©      Breathe in some Eucalyptus! An herbal remedy for respiratory illnesses, cough particularly. Inhale deeply for few minutes and your good to go.

honey (photo not mine)

©      Go ‘honey’ go! A proven cough suppressant and has that great soothing effect. Mildly acts as antibiotic. Honey alone is beneficial but add-ons are great too. Such with lemon; hot water; warm milk; apple cider vinegar; and what is more.

As of experience, honey works best for me especially when i was preggy and Calamondin aka Calamansi for my one-year-old son. Grab what suits you best and give your pockets some rest!